If Your Name Rhymes with “Pooter,” You Won’t Be Getting My Vote, or, Street Credico
by Anthony Smith
Living in New York has taught me that there are beers and then there are expensive beers. Does a bitch drink Blue Moon? That’s fine but does that bitch think there’s nothing better? These are called pressing questions. Pressing questions left unanswered become political issues.
Now, I don’t mean to speak on behalf of all gay people, but every gay person is going to vote for Randy Credico. Why? Because with a name like that, how could he not be a powertop? Let’s look at these charts:
Let’s not because TextEdit doesn’t have a fucking chart making tool. If and when Steve Jobs reads this– baby, I’m pissed. Anyway, back to the story. Look, all joking aside, a New York Senator is like a snowflake– no two are exactly alike. And now that we’ve lost Hillary, we need a politician with balls. If Schumer had any, pics would’ve been leaked by now. This is called “The Edwards Effect”, or, modern telejournalism. And that’s why I’m putting all my faith in Randy Credico.
Let me recite what history teaches. History teaches. Vote Credico.
Paid for by The Gay Agenda, a Subsidiary of Pepsico